The MR noticed it first. I think it was early afternoon on the 25th when I started slyly pulling down bits of ribbon from the Christmas tree. It was just a piece here and there at first.
After most of the ribbon had disappeared he said something. “Are you taking down the tree?” Denial is the first reaction, right?
“Just cleaning it up a little.”
A little while later I was pulling down some of the red flowers from above my kitchen cabinets and replacing them with white flowers and had to grin to myself. Luckily he didn’t notice that time. He was busy teaching the kids how to play chess.
A while later I was back at the tree. In my defense I had taken a break in between.
“So you AREN’T taking the tree down, huh?” he asked.
“Nope, I’m just bored” I said.
I realized it was true. I mean it had been several days since I’d changed anything and I was bored!
Is that bad?
I’d done that on purpose for my kids. Every single day I’m cooking and cleaning and being a mom and doing laundry and cleaning and taking care of 3 dogs and cleaning and blogging and styling the house and doing a few dozen DIYs and cleaning and keeping up with Instagram and cleaning and dog-sitting for neighbors and cleaning and….one day my baby boy took my phone from my hands and said “mom, I’m more important than your work, right?” I assured him he was and promised him I wouldn’t do work over Christmas.
I kept my promise but I can tell you I get bored easily. I don’t do well with down time and I don’t do well with sitting around. I truly miss not decorating things and making things pretty. That’s why I am always changing things around. It’s my grown up version of playing.
When I couldn’t shut my brain off and was considering staying up late once I’d gotten the kids to bed just to take the tree down even though they really love the tree, I realized how obsessed I was.
I love Christmas decor. Winter decor more so than specifically Christmas decor. But more than the specific decor what I love is doing it! That’s why I do what I do and why I love sharing it with everyone. If I could I would come to everyone’s home and do all of yours to!
So the first step in recovery is in admitting the problem, right?
I’m also going to admit that I don’t really know that I want to recover!
Happy December 26th, y’all